Perhaps this is just a man thing, but I came upon a truly absurd advertisement on the television last night. Perhaps you too have seen it, the inexplicable horror of an item called a “Snuggie.” A Snuggie, it appears, is a Friar Tuck blanket with sleeves. The commercial shows some donkeys lounging around the house in these wearable blankets, which is fine as far it goes. They are shown reading, knitting, using the remote control for your TV, “so many uses,” the commercial exclaims. One size also seems to fit all, which is a bit of a frightening thought. Should I really be wearing something that a 500 pound or a 60 pound human could also wear, and perhaps, God forbid, share back and forth? I guess for those who fail to understand the concept of the robe this might be acceptable, or if you do not mind being too humiliated to answer the door if a neighbor stops by. Suppose a family member member snaps your picture? What if a normal person sees you wearing this? Furthermore, they bear a disturbing resemblance to the robes that Chewbacca's strangely creepy family wore in 1978's infamously godawful Star Wars Holiday Special, thus making you look like not just an ordinary dweeb who is garment-challenged, but a top-flight, grade-A, 1978-is-my-home-planet RoboDork.
But they really go too far in suggesting that it would be “perfect for outdoor events.” Imagine me wearing of a Snuggie to Soldier Field. The half time festivities would no doubt include beating me up and placing me upside down in the dumpster in my Snuggie. Even worse would be to wear it to a Blackhawk game. I would have to order a red one to hide those pesky blood stains. At least I would be warm as Barbarians with sticks chased me through the parking lot.
You can check out their site here.
Okay, I know that you are ordering one. Put that phone down. Back away from the computer. Don’t do it ……
24 comments:
HAHAHA I just cannot picture you in something like that.. you know what I mean.. no I don't know what you look like, but it's the thought of it.. I hope no one orders one.. although I did get my bff a similar thing once.. but it had feet.. more like a caftan with footies.. well, it was better than it sounds.. she liked it to go outside to smoke, when it was cold.. It served the purpose. :)
Jean LOL ha! The word verification is "nopers"!!
Jean, I look like this. I am 6 foot tall, about 190 pounds, lean and muscular in a swimmer kind of way, broad shoulders, light blue eyes, short brown hair going to white, pale Irish skin. I try not to smile much but sometimes I fail.
Oooh, now I know what you look like... sorta. hahah
I saw that commercial too. Cracked me up. What's wrong with putting on a sweater or slippers or heavier pants? Duh. I tell my kids all the time, "If you're cold, layer up." My son likes to wear his long bottoms to school under his jeans because he hates to shiver.
It's a freakin' bathrobe on backwards!! What about your back? doesn't it get cold-or is the person always laying around?
LOL @ upside down in a dumpster all warm in your snuggie :D
I've seen this on TV and it does not look to me something that one would be able to move about in with ease. As far as man wearing this (or even a woman) to a football game that's quite ridiculous!
When are you going to show us a picture of yourself?
hahahaha!! i saw that commercial too. the goofiest thing anyone could ever invent! i like the part they are sitting on the bleacher watching some game. i hope it's not their kid's soccer game. talk abut embarrassing parents!
My SIL got a "Slanket" from her hubby. Same idea, different name. KInda weird, I admit.
Whats this? My Snuggie is unstylish? No wonder the parent council never takes me seriously.
I'm with Jadey! I've seen those commercials and the entire time I'm thinkin--serious neck draft!
I used to have a snuggie type thing growing up. It was a sleeping bag with arms that you zipped yourself up in.
It was....warm. *hangs head*
I have read the Mahabharata and the Ramayana as well. ASnd I have had them read to me. :-) I have had some close Indian friends. I'm surprised you noticed that title among the books on that shelf. That's good. I am not the only one who knows what those books are.
Rambling On
Sue, your son needs a snuggie for school.
jade, but I fear the new snuggie would stain in the dumpster!
elaine, when the time is right
aafrica, embarrassing one's parents is a sacred duty
mary, it is your duty to take a picture of this for future generations to enjoy
chelle, hopefully you look marvelous in it
hk, I want you to be warm. Lift your head.
RO, it is a beautiful book. Very lyrical.
I saw that commercial on TV the other night and a big WTF lit up over my head, and then it got filled with Gregorian chanting as the Snuggie looks like an oversized Friar Tuck robe, minus Friar Tuck and the rope belt.
Let's all get bowl cuts now and wear Snuggies.. chant along with me
Adoremus in aeternum sanctissimum Sacramentum.
Been following you for - what - 4 years now - and this is HANDS DOWN THE funniest piece you have ever written! Laughed from beginning to end!
"1978-is-my-home-planet RoboDork "
What a hoot!
Back in the dark ages (the 70's), the first x-fiance gave me somethin like this.... no foot holes.... nice warm - and almost useful - right until the doorbell rang and you tried to answer it.........FWOMPTH! face press time!
Thanks for the giggle!
dead, the idea of owning my own snuggie and getting bowl haircuts is really more of a dream than I can imagine coming true. But joint chanting is just too appealing. I will start hitchhiking towards the Border.
ED, thanks.
How did you ever let that great catch go?
I will meet you there with a spare rope belt and scissors.
According to the weather report you might wanna bring an extra snuggie or two. The temperature in these parts is going down to -32c for the next couple of days.
On a side note, here's something creepy. While reading my gmail notification, there was an ad on the side for.. you got it.. snuggie.. It's like it reads my email and displays appropriate ads. Scary!
dead, hahahahahaha. Did you order some. -32 is a wee bit chilly as my father might have said. I guess I really will need that snuggie.
I don't even think the snuggie can withstand -32. Time to bring on the thermal underwear and polar snow suits..
I agree with Darker side- this is probably the most I've laughed at your writing in a LONG LONG time- I mean gut wrenching laughter-
I have a smoking blanket that zips up the front that i wear outside! it's not snuggie though-
**Getting phone and ordering LIKE 5 bazillion of them!**
and then I'm going to mail them all to you so you can play poker in them! One color for each day of the month!
shupe, I fear this would hurt my image.
Actually, it would go well with the purple hair.
Well, it's making some lucky person a fortune... so, can't be all bad. Who knows it may become the next big thing in fashion. Snuggies at the Oscars. Snuggies for a night out at the Met... ahhhh yes.... BIG HUGS, Steph
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