So there I was on an airplane in the dreaded middle seat next to an enormous woman who was reading the Weekly World News periodical (must be seen to be believed). I am reading the excellent mystery, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson and drinking a disgustingly healthy fruit juice and am generally content. Unfortunately the woman finished her magazine, which seemed to center on alien and human encounters, turned her bulbous head towards me and said, “Isn’t it just awful about Michael?'”
“Who?” I replied.
“Michael Jackson, he gave us so much. He really was an extra special person!”
I sat dumbfounded for a moment and finally replied, “Well I generally am against child molesting and molesters specifically so I guess I have to disagree.”
She scrunched her face into an angry countenance and started ranting, her voice rising, “Why would you say that!”
“That I am against child molesting?” I replied, “It is not that uncommon a proposition and I feel that I am not alone on this point.”
‘No why would you say Michael was a child molester, those are just lies told by people who hate all that is good.”
“I said it because he was arrested for doing it, sued several times civilly, paid one family TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS to settle one of the suits, gave many creepy interviews where he talked about how wonderful it was to sleep in the same bed with male children ..”
She began furiously pushing the button above her which called for the stewardess and when she arrived said emotionally, “Can I move my seat, I can't any longer next to this ... person.”
I told the stewardess that it would truly be an unfortunate thing to lose such a fine seating companion. Fortunately God was benevolent in this case and led the fulminating one away to another empty seat towards the front of the plane.
The British woman sitting next to me on the other side then leaned over to me and said dryly, “I guess you do not want to borrow my I-pod then, I have some Michael Jackson queued up and ready to go?”
20 comments:
PERFECT response by your mentally stable seatmate.
about the obviously UNSTABLE one that left rather abruptly.
alaways rely on the brit to have a sense of humour :)
What is the sick glorification of Michael Jackson all about? I have never seen this much news coverage about ANY one subject, you know, including the little war thing going on over in Iraq and Afghanistan. I just do not get it.
Sounds like an interesting exchange anyway. Kudos for speaking your mind. So many people would have just went along with it to be amiable. To hell with that!
Amazing isn't it? Guys like him sing and dance - and the can get away with anything and we pay them big money to do it....
But - the soldiers who die for us.... get a pittance.....
Go figure.
Ed
I agree with every comment in here today! Here Here!!!
Good for you for not avoiding the issue. Worked out well, no?
Good for you, speaking your mind!
The news really went overboard on Michael and I'm guessing that your seat partner went on-line for a ticket to the memorial!
Feels good to speak honestly rather than hiding behind decorum.
Well played.
One way of getting - ah! - some elbow room.
That is just priceless. I am laughing like crazy and your response was just perfect in the truest sense. Every word was just sweet music to the ear. My only regret is that you didn't get ushered to the head of the plane. It would have been a wonderful way to end your trip and that way she and the other passenger could have reminisced with each other.
vm, there should be some kind of seat mate profiling system.
tim, so often true.
mary, I am for amiability I guess generally, but it was hard to accomplish in this instance.
ed, he world does seem unfair at times.
ah, howdy.
sandy, I am just glad that things did not go off the rail.
peggy, it does seem likely.
kathy, it is at times hard to know how to treat the mentally challenged.
shst, I am just happy that my plane did not crash.
I envy your ability to shut people up and put them in their place by stating facts and logic. I should have gone to law school.
Why can't I sit next to someone like you on a plane!
/laughs
The way things go, that woman would have been moved up right next to me instead!
I'm totally loving the British woman!!! ha ha ha ha :D
and yes...the glorification of a pedophile is beyond sick--but then so is allowing the abuser who "raised" him to use air space to tout his record company instead of explaining his family's loss.
Disgusting.
Those poor kids to be stuck in that household...*shudder*
NOW I know how to clear my row when I fly next month! Thanks for the tip! :D
lol...I wish I was in the seat behind you... I would have burst out laughing! Never a dull moment laoch..never a dull moment ;)
You kill me. I love it! Hahaha! This has been my exact thought about this whole Michael Jackson thing. I'm just like, good, one more child molester out of this world.
I avoided all the blog postings on Michael Jackson and didn't read the numerous articles that inundated me during the week. I will give no truck with such.
I am as put off by the parents who couldn't wait to throw their kids in MJ's path (or bed) as I am by MJ himself. But I must say, attempting to punish you by removing a half ton or so of dudgeon is hardly the cruellest punishment she could have inflicted - one is reminded of B'rer Rabbit and his, "Please don't throw me into the briar patch!" You'd think with her choice of reading material, she'd be down with the worst possible suspicions about MJ an any other person of notoriety.
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