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Wednesday, March 02, 2011

A Categorical Imperative

“All men can be divided into two categories,” my friend Zelda said to me, “wimps and assholes.” 

I blinked and paused for a moment considering. “This seem a bit under-inclusive, as they might say in Constitutional law analysis,”  I finally replied. 

“No, I am sure,” she said firmly.

“Well, if these are the only two categories, I guess I am sure which category I would like to belong in.”  I noted.

“Yes,” she started answering before I even finished speaking.  “You are a Chasshole. (An asshole from Chicago).”

“Better than a Chimp I guess.” I said solemnly.

19 comments:

Not So Simply Single said...

Loach...the more I get to know you, the more I like you...

Lisa

Laoch of Chicago said...

nsss, I like you as well.

Antares Cryptos said...

Why am I laughing?

Laoch of Chicago said...

antares, because it is amusing?

Elisabeth said...

I think I prefer a chasshole to a chimp, too, Laoch.

Ramblingon said...

LOL!!! Good one.

Peaceful said...

hahaha! good one :D

Kass said...

Do you and Zelda write dialogue for Two and a Half Men?

KittyCat said...

Funny
I think there are 3 categories
assholes, good guys and wimps

Austin James said...

This makes me miss all my Chasshole friends back home.

Kev D. said...

Reminds me of Team America, in which people are either Dicks, Assholes or Pussies.

I like to think that all men are either Ninjas or Robots.

I am a Ninja.

Antares Cryptos said...

Ah!

Laoch of Chicago said...

elisabeth, me too.

ro & jade, thanks.

kass, I guess I wish I was talented enough to write for the show, "The Big Bang Theory."

kitty, do you meet a lot of good guys?

austin, Chicago is fun, especially in the summer.

kev, I guess I would rather be a ninja as well.

antares, oh.

Sandy said...

Thanks for the morning giggle.

Laoch of Chicago said...

sandy, all laughter is valuable.

Donna B said...

LOL...I LOVE your humor...Zelda sounds like a great friend...

manders said...

you definitely don't want to be a chimp. i can't stand any imps.

CausedByKarma said...

GOOD ONE!

heap big chuckle - thanks for that!

Kanani said...

BINGO!