Now that I am no longer intelligent I must find my diversions in lesser places, so I was reading the New York Daily News this morning when I came upon this headline, “Fran Drescher: I was abducted by aliens and they implanted a chip in my hand.”
Because my brain is deficient I immediately thought, “well that happens I am sure.” It did cause me to wonder though, of all the people to kidnap in the world, how did they know that Fran Drescher was the finest human specimen in the world? Studying her brain of course will produce amazing benefits for the aliens. They will get to see the top of human potential and when they colonize the Earth no doubt they will install her as the leader of the humans. Fran apparently believes that the aliens left a chip in her hand, although she does not speculate as to why they did such a nefarious thing. Coincidentally she also believes the same experience all happened separately to her ex-husband. He too is apparently saddled with the alien chip of doom.
I guess I should check my own hand to see if the telltale scar is there as well. Wait a moment while I go and see. (Long horrifying pause: cue the sinister music.)
I would tell you the results of my examination but they would not let me. Here is my tip of the day: sometimes it is better not to know.
22 comments:
I"m surprised they even let you post this!!!!
Mlc, resistance is futile.
Wow, are you sure it's a head cold? Maybe it's tiny aliens invading your sinuses.
Kl, very reasonable theory.
Have you seen that there is a show called "Celebrity Ghost Stories"? As I flip through the channels and see that it's on, I always wonder why all the celebrities have seen ghosts...
Meg, I haven't seen it but it sounds amusing. I guess celebetries are just more special than we are.
It's always easier not to know.
Rj, I guess it would be but the cat is out of the bag.
Somehow this fell under the radar, but do you know who’s the leader of the aliens?
Dan Brown.
Certainly that would explain his success/the hype.
Jolene, I did not know. This is exciting news.
Um.
L, I did read this post and honestly don't know how to respond.
All right, I just wanted to say thanks for your comment, this morning.
Spot. On.
Take care.
Suze, you are welcome. The right way to respond to this post is sarcastically.
Now that you are no longer intelligent? Did I miss something?
pc, not really, it is more of a commentary on the fact that I am not as smart as I used to be.
tell them to beam me up. This winter is getting tedious.
karen, be careful for what you wish for.
"Long horrifying pause" = hilarious.
dbs, (short grateful pause) thanks.
Well wouldn't ya know it!
I have a scar on my left hand and I don't know how it got there!!!
That certainly explains some of those thoughts I've been having lately.
I got so caught up in reading Fran's thoughts, I forgot to come back and make comment. I wish an alien would visit me, but no, I have to be satisfied with old Star Trek re-runs. Life is not fair.
Aliens approached me one night for this very thing. But upon opening my skull, they got so scared they left with a super-sonic shriek.
Go figure.
sym, long live the new flesh.
carole, The best thing is just to take up and go and see Fran. Maybe she will take you o the spaceship.
jls, that's what they want you to think.
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