Recently I wrote a blog post about the parting gifts that Derek Jeter was giving his late night admirers. Someone mentioned the Dark Lord Derek to me casually yesterday which made think again of his parting gift concept. The question of the day is: what items should properly be included in such a parting gift bag (assuming that I was a narcissistic ego maniac)?
So let’s make a list:
- A 3-D Blu Ray DVD of Derek Jeter's Top Ten Tips on How to Please Derek Jeter (3-D glasses included)
- A lock of his hair which will serve as a DNA sample so that his magnificence can be cloned by fervent admirers, and he can be preserved throughout the ages.
- A Wall sized poster of the great one’s face blown up so that he will always be gazing at you.
- An I-Pod pre loaded with inspirational Derek sayings.
- An Amazon Kindle loaded with copies of The Tao of Derek, Jeter's Little Red Book, and If Loving Derek Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right (An Interactive Adventure).
- A T-shirt with the logo, “I have completed the Derek experience and you can too.”
- An anatomically correct Derek action figure complete with superhero outfits and the requisite cape.
Have I missed any important ones?
9 comments:
Who is Derek Jeter?
Some sort of TV personality?
tsb, A famous baseball player. Here is a link to one of the stories about this:
http://www.nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/12/jeter-gives-gift-baskets-to-one-night-stands.html?imw=Y&f=most-viewed-24h5
Haha! Maybe he could go all Twilight and seal a drop of his blood in a locket for the gal to wear forever?
Who can live without Jeter cologne?
And the I-pod should also carry the very popular version of Take Me Out to the Jeter game.
dr c, excellent!
carole, the eau de jeter cologne is hilarious. I also like Take me out to the Jeter Game.
How about an action figure, or life-sized Derek Jeter lookalike body pillow for lonely nights?
pc, nice!
I need a bb gun to shoot his ass....
Just saying.
I love this...you have outdone yourself.
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