Long ago, when my father taught me to play poker, he also imparted to me one of the cardinal rules connected with casino going, “never loan anyone in the casino money.” This of course is a strong rule, but eventually he told me there was an important codicil which he liked to call the “incentivize the bum strategy.” Because I like you, I will now teach it to you. It applies in all settings really and works pretty well.
Let us say there is this truly ghastly loser in your life. They attempt to suck you dry in many ways by taking your time, your energy and your money. My father said the best way to deal with such a person, especially in the casino or poker room setting, is that when they ask to borrow money you tell them of course you will loan them some, but you note mournfully that you only have a small amount with you on that day, say $ 20.00. You give them that sum and get them to agree to pay you back in a short time period, say a day. The bum wants more of course, but he will not be able to help himself, so he takes the twenty. Because he is a bum, he will not want to pay you back. Hence forth he will mostly avoid you in the future, often even going out of his way not to encounter you because he does not want to pay you back this money. If he does not avoid you, you simply ask for the money back. He will make his excuses, look around shiftily and slink off.
Thus for the small sum of twenty dollars, you have incentivized him to not encounter or interact with you anymore. A small price to pay for the peace and serenity of removing a blood sucking bum from your life.
23 comments:
That is absolutely brilliant!!!! I most definitely will remember this lesson. Thank you
A life lesson beautifully written down!
Namaste..........cj
mlc, the metaphor can be extended I think.
cj, well, it was a lesson.
I'm trying to metaphorically apply this to other situations.......
....doesn't work with intangible soul-sucking energy exchanges.
GENIUS. Will it work on my deadbeat stepson? Only time will tell.
Brilliant !
cheers, parsnip
How about ten dollars? Yeah, I'm cheap like that...
kass, those energy vampires are hard to deal with.
katnip, family relations are much harder.
ap, : )
jolene, ten dollars is fine.
I used to lend money, but no more. I found there are lots of people that just always have their hand out...
I learned to play poker when I was five years old. Have loved it ever since. My family are big card players. My 102 great grandma played until she passed. (with cards that were made with large numbers...she rolled up in her wheel chair, lite up a cigarette and downed the whiskey!)
nsss, it can be great fun to play cards.
That's excellent advice. For the loss of $20, I actually have someone in mind...
Pearl
I like it. It's the same concept as setting a little back fire to combat a prairie fire.
Sounds like a good strategy to me. 20 bucks is probably about the right amount. Ten bucks...they might just forget about it and come back for more, bald-faced.
pearl , when you start thinking about it there are often a lot of people who qualify.
pc, excellent metaphoric comparison.
kerry, there is a mini-max sweet spot.
Sounds like good advice and I must say I have done this a time or two without realizing it.
shst, I am not surprised. I wish it was not sometimes necessary.
Are you kidding me?
I should pay twenty dollars just so I don't see the guy again?
I'd rather just punch his lights out when he asks for the money.
I have a lot of acquaintances with black eyes, but not many friends.
Sounds good, and I agree it would probably work in 90% of cases, but what about the greedy bum?
These are the ones who don't care that they already owe you money, they only remember that you were the mug who gave them money once, and so they'll ask again.
sym, that is an approach I guess. Bail is expensive though so it might not be cost effective, although it is an emotionally satisfying approach.
tsb, well of course those losers do exist. My approach there is to say, "since you did not pay me back on schedule I can not loan you more money, ever." If they continue to bother you, you must escalate, which is another post.
What excellent advice!
Wish you had reminded me of this last year.
Well, if your dad would have been president during these times, I suspect our welfare and food recipients would not fare so well. So I understand the concept, but I don't know if I can apply it. It seems these are desperate times for people.
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