Unless you live in a big city this may not happen to you but for me this seems to be an almost ubiquitous experience. I'll be standing at a bus stop with a group of people and a panhandler will approach the group and unerringly I will be the one and only person the guy will ask for money. Bill Gates could be standing next to me and the homeless guy would ignore Bill and still only seek money from me. I do not know why I have become the world's bum magnet but there must be a way to depolarize myself. Maybe its time for a disguise?
There used to be a crazy guy wearing an outlandish outfit who would stand on State Street with a bullhorn and lecture people about eternal damnation. He would rant and wail and invariably people would cross the street to avoid him and almost always give him a wide birth. So I guess I have answered my own question. Thus I will be stopping after work today and getting myself a bullhorn and an electric color dreamcoat. No doubt this will make me pretty popular in general so I will be available for all your party appearance needs, so get your requests in early.
13 comments:
I must warn you that you may get more than you bargained for with that tactic: Did you know that in Uganda, and I'm guessing other African countries, there is a huge Born Again (Pentecostal/evangelical) movement? And in the city streets there are men and women, dressed in office wear, who stand all day in the sunshine haranguing the masses with improvised scripture and other spiritual lectures (some are apparently paid)? It is so very normal, that you wouldn't even bat an eye, and when stuck in traffic with nothing to do, you may very well find yourself grinning, and even LISTENING to a particularly eloquent rant. Now I know your now where near Kampala, but if you think of how many of the Ugandan diaspora who may flock to you as you endearingly remind them of their home, you may think twice on your plan of action. Just saying....you don't wanna end up the Pied-Piper of a bunch of lonely Born Again Africans do you? That's my 2 cents anyhow.
I have the same issue. Be it panhandlers or the loudest people in the movie theater...the number of times my family and I had been almost the only ones in the theater only to have the loud family come in and sit next to/in front/behind of us. A couple of movies ago, we were the only ones in the theater. Just as the movie starts, another family comes in and sits in front of us. Through the whole movie, their young child stood in his chair, jumping and making noises. At one point, he came through the seats onto my sons lap. Until I yelled "What the HELL", the parents hadn't even realized...
If you find a cure, I want in on it.
I think you should post a pic of yourself in the dreamcoat. I will be quite sad if you do not.
I seem to attract the smokers to stand near me choking off oxygen, loud LOUD talkers, cursing people and people who exhibit bad taste in every way.
Around here in the summer we get the people who stand at the intersections asking for donations. Usually church groups who will preach at you until you hand them money. It's annoying. And a serious traffic hazard. Even though they wear those safety vests eventually somebody's going to get run over.
Is it because you're the only one who makes eye contact? In uni, if I made eye contact while in the cafeteria, that student would make a beeline right for me--even if there were many empty tables.
Same thing happens at the movies. Make eye contact, and you'll have someone RIGHT beside you.
What Karen said.
But even that doesn't explain it all. When we had a cat, why did he always jump in the lap of the only cat-allergic person? Why do strange dogs ignore Ed (completely happy and socialized) and run straight to Reub (who, through clenched teeth, is saying "stop it.") Why do opposite magnets attract each other?
You will never get over this problem!
Please post photos of your new "uniform."
Ah yes, the Perils of the Penniless People Magnet.
I've got it too.
I find the traditional Scottish (Glasgow actually) response of "Awa an' get a job" often works.
Not too sure about the bullhorn/electric colour coat thing as a disguise. Wouldn't a snap-brim Trilby and a moustache do?
Jill, I did not know this but I have wanted to go Uganda for a while so I hope to see for myself firsthand.
meg, the treating of public space as if it were private by people is a pretty big problem here that seems to be growing.
suze, since I am a vampire I am not filmable.
ro, I understand the horror.
cat, when I was driving I was always afraid that I would run over one of those people.
karen, that is possible. I will ponder it.
kerry, the cat thing is so true!
dbs, view at your own risk.
tsb, I fear that is no escape for me!
I'm the opposite. I'm so shy and introverted, I must give off a very closed-off vibe because people hardly ever approach me. Once, in Rome, a gypsy was asking everybody in sight for money--I was sitting on the steps of a fountain with my laptop. I saw her pause in front of me, size me up, and then pass by to pick on someone else.
My husband gets approached by everybody, and most of the local panhandlers have been his patients at one time or another. One patient/panhandler approached him and asked for money and my husband said, "The last time I went through your pockets you had $600" and the guy slunk away all sheepish.
pc, when I lived in France the beggars at the end of the day would fold up their stuff and then get in their Mercedes and drive off!
LMAO!
:)
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